Turns out the world isn’t such a bad place after all.
Timely reminder that people are inherently good.
okay but what if the elderly couple is standing backwards and they’re timetravellers
others drink, and others fall in love,
each one dies from a different way.
i want a bf with a select vocabulary which includes phrases like:
- yes babe
- you’re cute
- of course i will bring you snacks
- my dick is 3 feet long
- you’re always right babe i’m sorry
If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made
my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them
Everyone: gets mad that I ignore their texts.
Everyone: fails to realize I got a new phone and new number.